1. Just notice. What is your little voice saying and what’s behind the message?
  2. Make a choice about the self-talk you will allow to continue and explore your options.
  3. Replace the negative thoughts with more positive ones. When the negative thoughts come back, notice for a bit, make a choice and then move forward with self-talk that best serves you.

No situation has meaning until you add your interpretation of the situation with your thoughts. By adding more positive thoughts, your interpretation of the situation becomes more optimistic and eventually, you will become more confident.

Set realistic goals and celebrate wins

Set measurable goals to monitor your progress. Write them down. Be specific, be realistic, identify a date for completion and include the benefit to you of completing the goal.

When you meet your goals, celebrate! Acknowledging progress and success is a great confidence booster. Keep a journal of your successes and look back at it when your confidence takes a hit. Remind yourself of all you are capable of and look back at your intentions and your goals to move forward.

Increase your knowledge

Find online courses in your field or go to a seminar and start growing in your capabilities to counteract any feelings of inadequacy. Read more books, watch more TED talks, attend more seminars. It’s easy to go overboard, and spouting your knowledge too often can be a confidence killer when people who have greater knowledge on the subject start debating with you, but knowing what to do about a complex issue or problem can help you gain confidence. Confidence grows when you act on what you know.

Smile 

People with confidence tend to smile more, but it’s a learned skill. If you walk around the office and greet others, smile first and ask about their day. The change in attitude about what is going on around the office builds your own confidence because you realize you need to have a better outlook–and that’s highly contagious. Confidence is contagious.

Walk with pep

No, really. This works. How you move around in the office can determine your mood. Shuffling down the hall to your next meeting creates a reaction with other workers. Add a little zing and energy, and you can gain more confidence when people notice you have the pep. Stand up taller so you can breathe in more oxygen. The more bounce you have in your step, the more energy you generate physically and the more you will feel like to can handle whatever is next.

Find people who will boost your confidence

I’m convinced the best way to build confidence is to find people who know how to encourage you and build you up. Find friends, mentors or a coach (hello!) who will support and keep you grounded in all that you can contribute to the world. That means, If you tend to hang out with people who criticize you too much, find new friends.


Confidence can be improved and developed. It’s not something that you must be born with. Only you can adjust your mindset to boost your personal confidence. Give these steps a try. The experience of stepping up and exuding more confidence (even when you don’t feel it) becomes a critical confidence boost. And when you realize you did it once – you can surely do it again.
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